A Mushy Post on My Anniversary

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When I was growing up my family used to say it would take a special man to marry me, and not in because you’re so awesome kind of way but more like who is going to tame black beauty kind of way. Don’t get me wrong my family was loving and supportive and all that stuff but facts are facts and I was a force to be reckoned with. (see picture for confirmation)

I always pictured I’d marry someone who would put a firm foot down and tell me it was there way or the high way. I pictured I’d marry someone slightly unforgiving who would tighten the reigns when necessary (really romantic isn’t it). I figured the only kind of person who could “handle me” was someone who was stronger than me. That’s true, but strength isn’t always what we picture. God knew I didn’t need another man to walk into my life and demand change in return for love he knew what I needed was the kind of guy who would love me to freedom. Freedom from pretending I had to be strong, freedom from never acting hurt, and freedom from thinking love and pain were one in the same.

Enter Ben.

This man who caught me so off guard I cried after our first date (true story). I was so scared he was going to hurt me. I was so scared I would let myself show just the tiniest bit and he’d run like all the others.

A girl asked me recently how I knew my husband could handle my “baggage”, how I knew he wouldn’t run and it was simple. The right guy doesn’t run. Don’t get me wrong there were times he was afraid but he stayed and I have never experienced Jesus more than I have in the love of my husband.  Jesus was so many things but I always loved that he won sinful people over by loving and serving them.

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I am so thankful God knows me better than I know myself and I am so glad he made Ben strong enough to weather the storm with me.  Four years ago I walked down the aisle to the man who would walk through life with me, be the father to our kids, and show me a little more about God every day. The man who would serve our family, work hard for our family, and do it all with a compassionate calming love that can change everything.

Thank you babe for wrecking what I ever thought I knew about love, for championing me in my dreams, for loving me even when I fall utterly short, and for making me laugh every day. You are truly my better half.

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