As I work to get my book ready to self publish I keep asking myself the same question “am I really ready to put this out there?” And I keep hearing the same answer, “life isn’t about you.” It doesn’t matter how hard I try to get this point through my thick scull I keep forgetting that, whenever God calls you to something its almost always painful but always worth it. Because these pages are filled with my heart, my story, and more importantly my Savior I keep asking myself if this will be worth it. More importantly what if people hate it? Does that mean they hate me?
All these questions keep running through my head and I don’t know how resolve it except to keep reminding myself that this process isn’t for me, about me, or have anything to do with me. These are the words God called me to write, my story that he called me to tell. So I will tell it.
We are all called to tell a story and most of the time your story comes from your greatest struggle. Whatever has caused you pain or made you grow as a person is most likely what God will ask you to use. If you had an absent father he will put you in a situation to minister to those in pain for the same reason. If you have a porn addiction he will ask you to tell your story to a group of men. If you are sick then you will be given people in your situation who need comfort and always need Jesus. As I always say God takes your misery and turns it into your ministry.
Today I met with a woman who was telling me the story of her marriage for one of my jobs. It was great but then she started telling me about how her twelve year old son knows girls that have sex (Dont ask me how). I was intrigued before, but now she had my heart racing. Because of my past I am passionate about teens not having sex until marriage. I got to share with her why I believed parents shouldn’t’ buy their kids condoms and more importantly I got to hear what her thoughts were about the issue. My misery to my ministry. I can only imagine that if ten people read my book I will get to have a few conversations about truth and that to me is worth putting my past out in the open for people to dissect, judge, and possible hate.