We were at a wedding this weekend and when someone we hadn’t seen in a while asked us, “so what have you been up to?” It’s a normal question, we were at a wedding, and you do lots of small talk at weddings. However, suddenly I’m searching, what have we been up to?? I’m assuming they don’t want to know about the mound of diapers, or the fever virus that just went through our house, or the rampant body issues that have surfaced after birthing two babies… really close together. Suddenly I want to make stuff up. I want to highlight things that aren’t a big deal and lowlight things that actually mean a whole heck of a lot to me. Suddenly I’m searching for something that makes we sound, well… important. The thing about being a mother though (especially one that doesn’t leave the house all too often) is that important hardly ever feels important.
Like the 1 million conversations I have daily with Claire about respect, love, and obeying. Or walking through our neighborhood holding hands while she tells me about her favorite colors and loving geese. To the outside world these are mere days, the passing of hours, but I know in my unselfish heart of hearts that these are the days that matter. I know these are the days that mean something. I know I am helping form her little heart and praying God makes it something truly beautiful. I know that I will never forget the way her tiny hand fits in mine or the way Briggs sloppy slobbery mouth kisses my chin in his tiny attempt to tell me thank you. I know that to the outside world these are not important but in my kid’s world and even in my world these are terribly important.
So ben says so very honestly, “we are just in babyworld.” Oh babyworld, where the time moves slower and the emotions are bigger and the tears are frequent. Babyworld, where you say sentences that sound absurd and laugh at things you would have never thought was funny before. Baby world where you need prayers and friends but you learn more about “doing nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit” than you ever really wanted to know. Babyworld. It’s not a real place and you always miss it when its gone (or so I’m told) but it will wreck your life with something awful wonderful if you let it and make you more into the image of our servant hearted Jesus than you cared to experience.
So my fellow babyworld friends, you are not alone. It’s ok if you don’t know what you’ve been up to when people ask. It’s ok if you start to sweat during normal conversation because most of your conversations are with a toddler and almost always involve animals or a Disney character. It’s ok if sometimes you don’t have anything to say that makes you feel important and it’s ok if no one gets that but you. Just don’t get trapped in the lie that I did and believe you aren’t doing something completely important. You are the most important person to however many little persons are in your home. Don’t believe that just because it’s not quantifiable that it doesn’t make it completely worthwhile.
The guy kind of laughed at us, I’m sure he pitied us (he was older and didn’t have the joy of babyworld) and said, “Well enjoy baby world.” To which I later (ok much later) thought about and said to myself, oh I will.
Anne Gernatt Kerr - Sweet Tindell,
I love reading your posts. My baby world ended all too quickly but you take me back to some of the sweetest times of my life and make me smile at God’s goodness to me by letting me be a mom. Thank you for being so real and freeing us up in the process.