Commitment Love

To Ben…. for showing me what love is. 

I always thought I knew what real love was. In fourth grade I told my first boyfriend that I loved him and then ran away in delight. In high school I said the words with out any meaning to back them up. When I got to college I thought after I became a Christian I had surely grasped what love was but after a few failed attempts realized I was no closer to what the four letter word really meant. Then I met Ben. The feelings were right the timing was right and on top of a North Georgia mountain I said I do. At our wedding I thought that I finally understood what love really was.

Then we moved to Houston, TX where the anger and pain of leaving home replaced the warm fuzzies and all I wanted was to run home to the familiar people of Atlanta, GA. Our love was tested and tried and only after months of kicking and screaming did I let God show me the real meaning of the word love.

He taught me the commitment side of love, the part where the feelings don’t guide and in its place is the  promise you made the day at the alter. The commitment part of love is what made it through the trials of Houston, it’s what made our love stronger than I ever thought possible, and its what remained when the rest of my world was falling apart. Commitment love is what got my parents through the pain of getting married and pregnant so young, its what kept them there after the big fights, and its what brought them to the place of having four children grown and married.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have the feelings, but they aren’t what keeps me fighting when the times get tough and the world seems over whelming. More importantly the feelings are not what God was talking about when he said, “love never fails.”  See the feelings will fail, they will tell you to leave when times get tough, they will tell you to stop fighting for your relationship, but commitment doesn’t fail. I promised Ben on September 12, 2009 that I would stand by his side no matter the times and feelings won’t keep me to my word, but my love for him will.