Sometime at 1:00 am
Its 1:00 am in in usual me fashion I cannot sleep, instead of being tired I am inspired. I’ve always had problems with sleeping ever since I can remember, which sounds like a really old person thing to say but twenty three years is along time not to sleep. I used to leave all of my lights on and lay in bed with my eyes open to take the pressure off actually sleeping, i was convinced that the stress of trying to sleep is what made me stay awake. The strategy never worked, and neither did my moms attempts to poison me with a green herbal drink that tasted like grass. So here I am a decade later and no closer to solving my insomnia. Its weird what thoughts come to me when most of the world is asleep. I am semi convinced it is simply that God is busy during the day and I got chosen as one of the “lucky ones” he would talk to at night. If this were true though my writing would be much cooler and probably contain life’s great answers. Instead i’m just an insomniac with a pen, blank paper, and now a blog. Lately I’ve been thinking about my view of God and wondering how far off I am. Here’s what I have so far.
1. I think she is beautiful and mysterious and when she smiles it looks like the sun breaking through the clouds.
2. I think she loves me like my grandmother, a whole lot but purely because i’m family. My lack of effort has put a strain on our relationship.
3. He’s a little scary, like my dad when he starts talking about money.
4. She smells like my mom, like lavender and vanilla. (i’d say fresh baked cookies but my mom doesn’t cook)
5. He dresses like Kristian, in Toms and skinny jeans, and when he takes the stage everyone stares in awe
6. He is confident like Taylor, who could sell an old woman in white gloves a ketchup Popsicle (thank you tommy boy)
7. He laughs like my dad and tells jokes like him too, with a volume that could shake the empire state building and with his lips curled waiting for others to join in.
8. He is sensitive like Brett, with the kind of innocence that could make you spill your darkest secrets.
9. He listens like my mom, with thoughtful words and a pure heart.
10. He pursues like Ben, with a heart of Gold and a determination that can tame the wild.