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Tindell Baldwin »

Where Will I go with my Fear?

I woke up at 7:30 this morning in a panic, my surgery is tomorrow. I don’t like needles, pain, hospitals, or anything where people mess with  my bones. It has to be done though, my left toe is growing the wrong way and the bone sticks out so much I can’t wear most shoes. (beautiful I know) So this morning I got on bible and just typed in the word fear. I knew there would be a million verses but I also knew God is sovereign and he would calm my nerves. I was sorting through genesis when a friend of mine sent me this one,

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13 

and then i found this one 

19 The righteous person may have many troubles,
   but the LORD delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones, 
   not one of them will be broken.

I almost fell out of chair it was so perfect. Not only will he hold my hand but he will protect my bones. I said a few months ago that I struggle with depression, well along with that comes anxiety a lot of times. Today I am feeling anxiety but I have one of two choices I can take my emergency medication or I can pray through my fear. Please dont hear me say that this is always the case but for me today it is. Who will I take my fear to? Will i take it to my savior who knew what fear was the night before he was crucified sweating blood in the garden, or do I internalize it and hope I can figure it out. (By the way jesus never had aesthetics) Today I will choose to take it to my Savior and know that he can handle all of my rational and irrational fears. 

I can just picture him tomorrow in the room with me holding my hand and guiding the doctors hand, thats what is great about God he can do both. I know he will be there with me every step of the way, before, during, and afterwards. Today I choose to take my fear up the hill to calvary where a very brave God hung on a cross for me.  
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