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Tindell Baldwin »

Father to the Fatherless

I don’t quite know how to start this post. I guess I should start by saying I have always believed in family, very strongly. I believed that if you love each other enough that you can fend off the bad. I believed that if you stayed focused on God then satan would stay out. I prided myself on an honest relationship with the people I cared most about and I believed that I could change peoples idea of family by projecting my idea of our “perfect family”. Then in one earth shattering revelation God reminded me why we can’t put our hope in humanity. God made me stop talking for a little while and listen to him. He reminded me that we all need God. He reminded me why he is a God of grace and mostly he reminded me how flawed we all are.

I wish I could go into more detail but for the protection of what has been left in the wreckage I can only tell you this, we are all human. I can only tell you that God will humble even the most proud and I can tell you that if you give satan a crack he will break your life in half. I could brush off this hard time as life or I could let God teach me what he wants to. I am choosing to let him teach me. I am choosing to learn from others mistakes and choosing love over bitterness, but not today.
When all of this happened I had been toying with the idea of selling a devotional book on my blog for my trip to Uganda in the fall. Once my world fell apart I realized God had a lot to say but most of the time I was too busy talking to listen, so i have stopped talking for awhile and let him speak to me. I am letting him soak my wounds with his truth until I am ready to face the music. I hope he can speak to you too.

Dear Beloved,
I wanted to tell you I hear your cries. I wanted to promise you that I will remain a rock and your fortress in this tough time. Last night I let the rain fall on your broken heart so you would know that you are not alone. Oh how I remember the feeling of being alone. The night before I died for you I was praying to my father and my best friends fell asleep. I felt so alone. Beloved, you are not alone. I promised I would never leave you and I will stick to my promises. I know you have been hurt by humanity I know you are having a hard time trusting the good will of men but take heart, I am neither man or woman instead I am your prince of peace. Oh my child I wish this evil world were not so but I will be there to hold your hand in any way I can. I know this burden is heavy and your heart is full of anger but let me hold you up for awhile. Let me take your burden and wipe your tears. Let me cry with you through this season and when it is over I will bring the sun and we can bask in healing. How I hate to watch you hurt but let me promise you that I have a plan even in this. Remember my pain? Remember what I went through? All of my friends and family couldn’t understand, they were angry and hurt but then I revealed to them my fathers plan for redemption. I rose and my plan was complete and glory shone from earth to heaven. Child this is no different, suffering will soon fade into my glory. I will write tomorrow but for now remember these words.
Faithfully yours,
Father to the Fatherless

Pslam 44:1,5,10
God is your refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.
God is within her she will not fall. God will help her at daybreak
Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted in all the nations, in all the earth

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