Tindell Baldwin »

When I was little my brothers and I had a game we would play with my dad on our family trampoline. I was, of course, the princess and my three brothers were the villans trying to capture me. I would sit in the middle of the trampoline while my dad circled around me knocking all my brothers away. We would play for hours, my brothers trying desperately to get through my dads barrier but he was always stronger (although now I bet that game would go much differently). I was never worried, I always knew that even though my brothers out numbered my dad they couldn’t beat his strength. If they would start to come too close all I had to do was call out to my dad and he would come to rescue the princess.

I imagine life isn’t a whole lot different. God is standing in front of me protecting me from the evil in this world with his strength. He may be out numbered but he can never be outsmarted or over come. All I have to do is call out his name and he will come running to my aid, just like my earthly father did when I was eight. He won’t leave me stranded to fight alone. He knows things will try to attack but with the power of his hand I will not fall. He places me, like a princess, in the middle of his binding love and tells the evil things in this world that I have a place at the foot of the cross. I have a place where nothing can harm me. I have a place in my fathers arms. I may not be eight anymore but the principle is still the same.

Exodus 14:14

The Lord will fight for you: you need only to be still.

I’m sitting at Starbucks waiting to meet the hiring manager in my best interview attire and all I can think about it what teens would want to read on my blog. From the start I know this job isn’t for me, I’m not even focused on getting it when its interview time but the practical side of me begs to look past my “calling” after all my calling hasn’t produced any job leads and this is the perfect opportunity. With this job I would have the 9-5 in the fancy office with the potential of working for my dad’s company and becoming a partner one day.

It’s the perfect situation and everything in me wants it work, except for my heart. My heart is telling me I was made for ministry.  However I shove that part of me away as I stand up to greet the cute sales woman who will decide my future. After ten minutes she answers my deepest fear. “I just can’t see you at this roll, you’d be much better at outside sales and working with people”.  Door shut. Case closed.

Haven’t we all been there at a door we so badly wanted begging God to open it. Maybe it’s a relationship that seems perfect or a job you just know you would be great at but for whatever reason he stands there and shakes his head. Hearing no is like nails on a chalkboard, you want to cover your ears and scream.

My prayer lately is that the right doors would be opened and the wrong doors would remain closed. It has been a way too fruitful of a prayer. The point is God’s no’s are always for our best interest and always because he has something better planned. They are hard to hear but the consequences of stepping outside of his will are much harder to recover from.  Trust me I know. I’ve been there.

So three days later after my failed interview I have lunch with a friend who knows of a church that is hiring and two hours later I have an interview for a youth ministry position working with teenagers and two days later I have a job exactly where God called me.

If you ever doubt God re read your own story. There is always times where he has proven faithful.

By: Kelsey Stanfill, a high senior and wise beyond her years. I asked Kelsey to write a post for me about something teens are facing and what she produced blew my mind. Don’t miss her post today!

As a high school student, I’ve seen a lot of people do a lot of crazy things. And though it appears that all they’re doing is being kids and having fun, I know that deep down all they want is to do is feel accepted. We all struggle with it. Whether it’s comparing ourselves to the pretty girl with the perfect bod, or trying to be the popular athletic boy who always seems to get it right. I’ve seen the need to feel loved and accepted push people over the edge.

I’ve watched so many girls I know go from being a sweet Jesus loving girls to girls who don’t think they are worthy of anything more than a booty call. They went from being a happy go lucky girl to someone who gets high before school just so they can numb the pain. The problem is that they believe the lie that they have gone too far to be forgiven, and from what I’ve seen, this is a trend. So many girls believe that what they have done is far beyond God’s ocean of Grace.

Not only have I seen my peers struggle, but I’ve struggled with feeling like I don’t belong too. I remember in 5th grade I was 5’7 and taller than most of my teachers. All of the boys were shorter than me so you can imagine why I never wanted to go to any of the school dances. Unfortunately I told myself I wasn’t good enough in everything I did, it didn’t stop at my height. I compared myself to almost every girl that I saw, believing I wasn’t pretty enough. When I played basketball I would base my self- worth on whatever my coach would say to me. At school I didn’t want to draw attention to myself because I felt like they wouldn’t like me if they really knew me. I told myself all kinds of lies.

In high school Satan’s main goal is to tell us that we’re not good enough and that God cannot forgive our dirty sins. He tells us that that we have to change the way we look, talk, act, and dress so we can be accepted and loved. We have different masks that we wear around different groups of people. The school mask, the dating mask, the family mask, the friends mask, and yes even the church mask. When someone says “just be yourself,” it seems like an easy thing to do but actually half of us don’t even know how to be ourselves because we’re told that being ourselves just doesn’t cut it.

God has shown me that what I believe about myself is a lie but who HE says I am is Truth. And He says I am loved, forgiven, alive, precious, beautiful, and His! I encourage you to forget about what you believe about yourself or who you think you have to be for a little bit and listen to who GOD says YOU are, because He does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (I Samuel 16:7)

God tells the truth! The Enemy tells lies. Satan will try to keep you down and he’ll succeed unless you give your pain to God and let Him heal in the way only He can by taking your heart and making you whole. “And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.” (Revelation 21:3-4)

I sat with my brother and sister in law, Kristian and Kerri, last night after a wonderful night of babysitting and talked about the trials of ministry, the ups and downs and the sheer weight of being in ministry. I am just beginning, I barely have my feet wet so I was gaining some much needed advice and something Kristian said is still ringing in my ears.

He said, “you know Tindell I can stand on stage and lead worship, and do a great job because that’s my gifting, and I can play the right songs and say the right things, and I can even cause hundreds to come to Christ through my music but if I don’t know God personally then I’ve missed the point of life. Even after all I’ve done for God if I stand at his throne at the end of my life and he says, “but I never knew you personally”, then my life will have been a total waste”

This is why knowing God is so key in ministry, because at the end of the day its not about how many teens I reached and its not about how many people bought my book (which still isn’t out) it’s about the fact that I ooze Jesus. My number one job in life is to know and fall in love with my savior. My gifting can show others Jesus but if I’m not so deeply in love with him myself then it’s all a sham.

So here’s my question for you, do you really know Jesus or are you just doing his work? What is he going to say to you at the end of your life? Will he be proud of what you accomplished but know nothing of you personally or will he be thrilled with who you are and what you’ve done with his name?

I have to say this gave me a real gut check, I’ve gotten so caught up in this whole work God has been doing that I have forgotten who gave me the gifts in the first place. My number one goal is to fall in love with Jesus anything after that is just his blessing.

For Kristians Ministry visit www.kristianstanfill.com

And….. For a fun clip from babysitting watch this Jumping Norah Bean

When I was in high school my mom taught abstinence. I first had sex when I was 17. I knew lots of facts. I knew about STD’s and I knew what God said about sex but what I didn’t know was a real life story. I didn’t know the after math of sex. I didn’t know the destruction, the pain, and the sheer heartache that came from pre-marital sex. See this is what abstinence class never taught me. (not that the government would let them but that’s a whole other issue)

When I was seventeen my greatest worry was where the next party would be, how I would get my next high, or where my next handle of vodka was coming from. I wasn’t worried about STD’s. I was worried about my boyfriend leaving me if I didn’t have sex and I was worried about missing out on what everyone else was talking about but when I thought about Sex my mothers talks of abstinence got lost in the clutter. Now don’t get me wrong I am a full proponent of teaching abstinence I just want parents to take another step that school can’t provide.

Forget about the stats for a minute and focus on their heart, their vulnerable, questioning, want to right now heart. Think about where you were at seventeen. Think about the butterflies of your first love or the way it felt when you had your first kiss (ok we can all agreed that sucked but you see where i’m going with this). Kids want feelings not facts. This is why my mission is to show them the bad feelings, the painful ones that come once he has loved you and left you. These are the feelings that aren’t shown on TV. This is what Katy Perry doesn’t sing about. Because your teenage dream might involve your skin tight jeans but tonight is gonna remain on your heart forever.

So my mom was an abstinence teacher and where did that leave me? 17, broken hearted and no longer a virgin. 17, and wishing I had known the true depth of the word heart ache. 17 and wishing abstince could have conveyed the tear that was left when he did. A little piece of me was missing and I knew that I would never get it back. Here’s the problem. once the first piece is gone its easier to let the other ones go. Its easy to justify sleeping with the next guy because you heart is already torn. Thats a lie. Each tear is irreplaceable. Healable… yes! but replaceable.. No!

There is good news though, this pain is temporary and God can heal your broken heart but you have to stop giving your heart away. This is my challenge to you let God heal what is broken and move on. Don’t give any more of your heart away.

God has been very good to me lately and for that I am thankful. He is expanding my ministry to reach teens and for that I am thrilled. If you missed my two guest posts on friday here are the links

1. On Relevant Brokenness I talked about how we handle it when God says no

http://ht.ly/5Qw8t

2. On People of the Second Chance I was honored to share a story about one of my crazier memories from living an unsaved life. You can check it out at

http://www.potsc.com/testimony/one-night-in-aruba/

Thank you for being consistent readers and for letting me share my heart with you. I am continually blessed by your comments and words of encouragment. I can feel that God is moving in my life and I am honored to take these next steps of faith. For those of you who are interested in the book pre released copies will most likely be sold in the next few months otherwise it will hopefully be in stores by next may!

God Bless,

Tindell Baldwin

Standing up for truth will always face adversity.

Standing up for what is right and not what the crowd does will not make others happy.

Being wrong in the eyes of the world is not a fun place to be.

I faced my first backlash from my book this afternoon. It was surprising and painful, and I didn’t handle it well at all. In fact I ran out of the office, called my mom, and cried in the car (like every 24 year old would do). I didn’t take it well because I wasn’t prepared for truth to be spat at. I wasn’t prepared because I lived in a fantasy world where people would want to hear my story and didn’t care if it didn’t match up with their worldview. So I got upset, emailed everyone for support, and asked God if this was really all worth it.

Is it worth pissing people off if others get to hear truth?

YES!

As I sat in my car and cried, I realized that Jesus was a hated man. I realized he wasn’t welcomed with open arms when he gave sermons and told stories. Jesus was telling people what they didn’t want to hear, and he was hated. I know that some people will  hate me for my message. Some people will hate that I stand against lies and stand for the truth that will set you free. People will not like that my message tells them that their lifestyle is living in sin. I don’t care though. Because for every 1 bad email I have received I have gotten dozens more from people who have heard truth and are blessed by God’s word. For every one person who stands against me there are ten more who stand with me and will fight for the truth to be heard. It isn’t pretty, but as Francis Chan said at Passion a few years back, “if you’re not making people mad then you’re not doing something right.”

So today the enemy came for me with his teeth bared. He came to warn me that people won’t like me for what I stand for. He came to tell me that I might have to face this with only my savior at my side. I’m ok with that though because if one live gets saved because of my story then I am happy. If one girl doesn’t sleep with her boyfriend because I bared it all then I am satisfied, and if one more teen doesn’t end up in rehab because I talked about how addictive drinking can be then my mission is accomplished. God will be glorified and Satan cannot stop that.

Paul said it perfectly in 1 Timothy when he said “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners- of whom I am the worst”

Someday’s I feel I should have that verse tattooed on my forehead.. God came to say the sinners… of whom I AM the worst. This is the truth about flesh and bone, its sinful. We can try to do good things but the truth still remains God came to save the sinners… of whom I AM the worst.

I am the worst because when he offered his love I spat in his face. I am the worst because when he called me near I ran far away. I am the worst because when he told me lovingly not to do things I did them anyway. We have all been the worst sinner… none of us can lay claim to being a non sinner. None of us can change what Paul said to, Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.. of whom i’m not that bad. If you think you arent that bad then you have missed the point.

God called us to be blameless in his sight and none of us can claim that today. So just how bad of a sinner are you? I can tell you how bad you are, bad enough to deserve the death of a King. Your sin was so bad that a sinless man had to die in his place. You are not a good sinner, you are not occasionally bad, you are inherently bad. You are the worst sinner.

I don’t tell you this to feel bad. I tell you this to realize how much you deeply need a savior because if you grasp just how bad you really are then maybe you will grasp just how wide the arms of grace really are. If you can believe that you are the worst, just like me, then you can start to see just how great the sacrifice was that Jesus made that day. Here is my come to Jesus talk. You are a sinner and you need a Savior. The end.