Tindell Baldwin »

Well the time has come, I have decided to publish my book. I will be self publishing on the kindle until I can find a publisher. I am going to charge $3.50 on the kindle or Ebook and for every book I sell fifty cents of it will go to baby watoto, the organization in Africa that I visited this fall. I realize that God gave me these words and I wouldn’t be anywhere without him so the least I can do is give back to his kingdom. Any who here is the back cover to give you an idea of what the book will be about. It will be coming out in April so please spread the word!

Thanks!

  I woke up this morning in the mood to shop. When life gets dark this is my little habit, for some reason the feeling of buying things make me temporarily happy (emphasis on temporary). When we first moved to Texas this became my way of dealing with the unhappiness and when life swings down, like it inevitably will, my shopping bug comes back. It’s just like any other bad habit, some people like cigarettes but I love Target. At the end of the day I had mindlessly wandered the aisles of target for an hour only to buy laundry detergent we needed. My habit might not cause cancer but it does marital spats. Wednesday night is bible study night so I made myself sit down to read Beth’s (like to say that like I know her) “So Long Insecurity.”
    I’ll admit my to-do list was piling up in my head and I was reading quickly until I got to a part that made me stop in my tracks. It’s like her sweet face was coming out of the pages to talk to me and wow did I need it. As I read about her daughter’s mission trip to Calcutta my own trip to Uganda came back to my mind. Her prayer after her trip was, God don’t let me heal from these wounds. I realized it had been a quick five months since my trip and here I was consumed with what I could buy or more importantly what I “needed.” I was appalled with myself, how easily I forget that this life isn’t about me. Suddenly I can see it all again, the orphaned children in my arms not caring at all that they have one outfit. What’s more important is that God has taken care of them and they have a home.

I am so well taken care of. Clothes, food, family, and a husband that loves me (not in order of importance) yet this culture drives me towards myself and only a few months back in America and Africa’s mark has left my heart and in its place are dollar signs. Somewhere along these five months I have forgotten that God is the only thing that can heal my hurts.

    For about four months my girlfriends and I have been learning about letting our insecurity go but today I feel like I just got it. I won’t be healed from my insecurities until I learn what is most important, serving others. I will be healed when I stop looking at the mirror and picking at my faults. Me, my, and I get me know where but serving others gets me closer to my savior.

I wanted to share with my favorite readers a piece I just wrote for my new job. Feedback welcome!



I have re-watched the Charlie Sheen interview four times now and every time the sign on his forehead gets bigger to me. However, each time I watch the interview I force myself to see a little more of myself in his inability to be self-aware. Have you ever asked yourself what you might look like if you were interviewed on TV? Hey, you might not be asked to take a urine test after then interview but then again you might be. Charlie Sheen’s interview is just an exaggerated version of what our own interview might look like. We are all somewhat on the Charlie Sheen drug, or as I like to call it we all have the Charlie Sheen syndrome. We can’t see ourselves as clearly as others can. 


Here’s the problem, if we don’t ask others what the sign above our heads looks like then we will never know. This is the problem with the sign, it’s only readable by others and we can spend our lives avoiding feedback that might give us a clue as to what our sign says. This is another reason Charlie can’t see his own sign, he can pay people to lie to him about the flashing neon sign above his head that clearly reads, “danger ahead.” Have you ever really looked in the mirror though and asked yourself, what do others see when they look at me? Are you the goon on TV that everyone laughs at but no one has the courage to confront or are you the guy that people tune in to listen to? Are you Oprah or Charlie Sheen?

How can we figure out what our sign says though, if you are really curious take the journey with me to find out. First ask your friends, the ones that won’t lie to you, how you come across. Which guy are you at the party? The one who always has to have all of the attention or the one who people want to talk to, If you think you are the one everyone want’s to talk to then you are probably not him. Second, listen to yourself. If you are always the one talking and if you use the word win more than once then you need to check your sign. Third, receive honest feedback gracefully, if you want to be someone that people can talk honestly to then create an environment where people can talk openly to you. Do you get defensive every time someone wants to give you feedback, if so then you have created an environment that is inhospitable for honest communication. If you don’t believe me ask people around you for honest opinions and watch them cower in fear.

For example, I talk too much in a crowd so my sign reads, “I don’t care what you have to say.” Is this the message I want to send, definitely not, but I am sending it. Now that I know this information I can either blame everyone else (ie Charlie Sheen) or I can take what I know about myself and make changes. So now that you have the tools to see your sign what will you do with what you know? Will you change who you are or will you blame everyone around you and take the Charlie Sheen drug?

I recently bought a actual website for my blog. The new address will be www.feetonsolidground.com but it could take a new days to transfer! Until then you might experience some technical difficulties but it should go back to normal in a few days!

Thanks!

Tindell

Its that time of year again when my mom turns another year older and I realize I couldn’t live without this wonderful woman in my life. She is fifty tomorrow and writing a blog about her hardly seems to do her justice but for now its all I can do. 

I dont like depending on people, things, or really anything besides me. I have one of those wonderfully annoying personalities that thinks I can do everything better myself. Its not true of course, nor is it good for a husband wife relationship. In fact I can do little better than Ben with the exception of putting on make up, making the bed, and painting my nails (not trying to be cliche just stating facts). Right now I can only walk around using crutches and i’m supposed to limit that, however the bruises under my armpits tell a different story. I have to depend on Ben for everything, right down to helping me get dressed. Most wives would love for their husbands to have to take care of them for a week I on the other hand feel annoying. I hate constantly asking him for ice packs, water, pills, and Popsicles. He on the other hand thinks its a nice change of pace rather than me always telling him I can do it myself, which most of the time isn’t even true. Ben loves helping and always tells me “you just have to ask”.

I started thinking today that God is up there thinking the same thing about me, “why don’t you ask for my help”. Life on earth is filled with times of crutches and God is there to be our helper in these hard times, in the bible it even talks about him carrying us in the hard times. Boy could I use that this week. The problem is we would rather crutch around on our own than be dependent on something other than ourselves. I find it much easier to hobble through life sometimes than to stop and ask him for help. God isn’t idle but he also isn’t a pusher. He walks along side us waiting, all along the rough patches whispering to us, “If you would just ask me”. Most people are like me though, we just keep hobbling knowing eventually we can make it, even if we are broken and in pain. Why do we have such a hard time humbling ourselves before God and asking for help?

It’s just a thought I had as I fell again this morning trying to do something Ben is supposed to help me with. A little frustrated he said, “why won’t you just ask me” and if i’m honest the truth is because I want to do it on my own. Do we really think the same way about God? Do we really tell him, no Thanks, I mean you made me and all but I got this one?


Pslams 28:6-8
Praise be to the LORD, 
   for he has heard my cry for mercy. 
 The LORD is my strength and my shield; 
   my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. 
My heart leaps for joy, 
   and with my song I praise him.








My other little helper 

Day two post surgery and I doing great! The pain is manageable and whats better my hospital experience was wonderful. I told the doctors all about my dreams as I was coming out anesthesia and asked my anesthesiologist if I could hire him full time for when I can’t sleep at home. (Ben took a video of me which I will not be sharing with the class) While I was asleep I dreamed that my family was in the room with me making sure the doctors did their job correctly.

So after all my worrying my greatest fears were unfounded and nothing went wrong. My doctor put three screws into my bone and was able to move my toe over 6mm and you can already see the difference. Im sure  I will be going stir crazy after two weeks of laying in bed but i’m sure i can find someway to entertain myself. Ben has been by my side night and day making sure i’m not walking (which is big no no unless i have to go to the bathroom) and giving me all my meds. Aiden is doing his best not to jump on my foot and so far he’s done pretty good. I have felt very blessed these past two days and am thankful to have been covered in prayer during surgery. Now heres some pictures for a good laugh

before

after

I woke up at 7:30 this morning in a panic, my surgery is tomorrow. I don’t like needles, pain, hospitals, or anything where people mess with  my bones. It has to be done though, my left toe is growing the wrong way and the bone sticks out so much I can’t wear most shoes. (beautiful I know) So this morning I got on bible gateway.com and just typed in the word fear. I knew there would be a million verses but I also knew God is sovereign and he would calm my nerves. I was sorting through genesis when a friend of mine sent me this one,